Stochasticity of Change

Change is predictably unpredictable.

The “motion of life”, the “randomness of action”. Opinions about transitions or adjustments in our lives are likely mixed; with Fear and Welcome being two sides of a common view. Sadly, it is more common to see that many would taunt the fearful as stunted in potential growth and many who worships the fearless wish they had the courage of becoming one.

Yes, change is evident. And yes, it is always better to accept it, but we’ve got to understand that everyone feels the fear, yet not everyone has the will to conquer. It’s all up on each and everyone’s pace. We just have to let everybody cater their own fears while supporting them all the same. 

Alas, the growing number of pictorial and literary lessons might not always bring in the complete positivity one seeks, if the so called “enlightened” still condemn those who are still “lost”. It should be general knowledge that telling them off as “stunted” is no kick-starter to any sudden, fantasy-like rendezvous – labelling it as “tough love” wouldn’t cut it. In reality, not everybody feels like the lead character of a Cheryl Strayed novel. We not only need to appreciate those who accepts change, but also those who are still struggling to acknowledge change, complete with bloody knees and bruised feelings.

Change is unpredictably predictable.

We know it, we feel it, we can sense it. But it’s the mist that blocks your view, the steam covering your lens. You never know what you’re going to get, you never know how it’s going to end. Fear is then, inevitable in this case.

I for one, has been struggling with the stochasticity of this mistress of life: May brings with it the spring breeze of familial bondage and secrecies, June brings with it rays of sweet, faithful light and sudden sugar meltdowns and July brings with it the summer promise of festivities and late realisations of reality.

And this is still semester break – drastic changes in life has always been familiar in my books.

But still, I think it’s about time for me to settle back on having changes in a controlled environment, in which the predictability of change concerns with classes or events. Although in hindsight, I feel that when it comes to change, the chances are, I’d still be on my toes living day by day attempting to conquer it with a heart that trembles from fear and anticipation.

Straying a little bit here (don’t worry, I won’t stray too far), my sophomore year is about to start and this upcoming third semester is the point where everything basically rests upon – particularly my GPA and Discovery Year destination. In my university, we have a choice of either studying a year abroad, taking part of an internship programme, plan and implement a community outreach programme or even an incubation programme during our junior year. An obvious choice for my part, so to speak. Who, as myself, would miss an opportunity to go beyond my beloved Sultanate? Not me! Oh, but seriously. Only Allah knows how much I yearn to be situated in UK and be giving you a more qualitative content compared to now. But as of this moment, it’s still a dream yet to come true so I hope you’ll join me in my journey. On the other hand, even though I can already imagine the heavy workload and intense stress, here’s also hoping that I still have time for self reflections and social gatherings in between late night studying and project group meetings.

Lastly, talking about the future, planning and having dreams and getting really pumped up and petrified at the same time is fun and all but you know what? by the end of the day, Allah is the Best Planner and just knowing that fact should calm us for whatever is going to happen. Because no matter how much we plan, no matter how much we try to prepare ourselves, He knows us more than we know ourselves and trusting Him is the only way through.

So put your seatbelt on and we’ll fly through the skies with trust unbreakable by any gloomy weather. Destiny, here we come!


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