Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
Assalamualaikum, May Peace Be Upon You.
Before I start, may I take this chance to ask for your du’aa of health and smooth affairs for my family, Asyikin. And may Allah bless her with imaan and ease throughout her hardships. Amin.
Jan – Apr | Spring ’16 (Sem 4)
Last semester I learnt that I needed to take my burnouts seriously as I experienced a terrible wave of study burnout after the crazy Sem 3. Thus, it wasn’t at all surprising to see my fall in the grade scale. However, surprisingly, while I am still frustrated that I didn’t do better, I reacted better than I expected – Alhamdulillah ‘ala kulli haal – Praise Allah in whatever circumstances. I used to go on a depressive phase after a major drop but since I knew my effort and the limitation of the burnout, I had mentally prepared myself for it. At the very least, I now have validation to say that I’m not good at Photography (as I barely scraped a C+).
Learnt yet again that ideal friendships are not easy to find no matter how strongly you care (or maybe that’s just me and my stubborn gullibleness – case in point: learnt this “lesson” again on a whole new level just before I start my DY). Thankfully, it’s not to the point of door–slamming anyone, even though in August I’ve come so close. It took a lot of patience to not get to that stage. My solution as of now is taking a pretty long, long break from everyone (PRO TIP: Interning at a small office is a great way to isolate yourself and take a break from your usual crowd.)
I know it sounds quite sad but I’m dealing with it. I’m not sure how well, but at least I’m dealing. As a matter of fact, I found a few friends that I really enjoyed studying with during this semester. They’re not exactly new, but I found a newfound fondness for them. I initially thought it would be quite a sight but I learnt to roll with it. Genuinely, I still think about them time to time. Even though friendships (or relationships for that matter) are a sensitive, complex topic to me right now, I’m very thankful for every one of you. You all matter so much to me, it’s just that sometimes I just needed someone to feel truly the same about me. Despite all that, everyone is in my prayers – be it the old, the new, and the future.
May – Jul | Summer Break
Played around with watercolour and lettering for the whole of May and throughout the rest of the summer break and I’ve met a lot of amazing people online. Sadly, this hobby is on hold right now so I’m looking forward to see whether or not I’m still as interested in it at the end of the year. Here are a few works I did that I could find in my laptop:
I attended a small family business vendor during Ramadhan at the stadium this year. Other people might see it as much yet I was thankful. It was something I wouldn’t expect I’d actually do but I get to spend time with family and having protective (albeit so childish!!) brothers with you most of the time is fun for a change.
This year Eid’s festivities were the same, although when you get older it does fade a bit, doesn’t it? I still thoroughly tried to enjoy it as much as I can though. I even came for MYC Raya open house! And I’m so glad I did, I missed MYC very much. I will surely go to every single one of their sessions next year before I go for my DY, In Syaa Allah.
Aug – Early Nov | Autumn ’16 (Sem 5)
Speaking of DYs, I’m currently doing my first semester at Department of Scientific Services at the Forensic DNA lab and even though I found out that I’m actually not into it (which is ironic because I used to obsess about studying forensic science) it is still quite an experience so far. We have a homely number of staff that it feels like family, and they are actually a part of my positive experience! They made it super better than the worst of my imagination.
I’m a little more than a month into the internship already and everyday I find myself engrossed over my next DY semester: preparing, planning and daydreaming about my days there. Then last Monday, I received news that there’s a slight chance that I wouldn’t be able to go (although nominated, I was in second) – thus a possibility of putting my plans to waste – again. Sigh.
When I thought I learnt from my mistakes, I find myself in a similar situation,
doing the same mistakes.
I never do learn, do I?