Attachment Affairs

 

Assalamualaikum, May Peace Be Upon You.

I have no legit reason to actually write, but I feel like writing. Even though I have already scheduled a day to write next week, I just feel like writing right now. In reality, I have a 4K report to write for next week, and two presentations to prepare during these two weeks. In addition, I just finished a monster 7K words report last Sunday. Why on earth am I feeling the need to write when I have enough of it already? ahem because everyone is updating their blogs so me being a dum dum lamb i want in?? On a serious note, I think it’s because all these work I have to do, I’m writing it not for myself. There weren’t any free flow, wishy washy, untethered thinking like what I’m doing right now, and having 4 days left of my intern, I needed some sort of quick, tiny breather and let my brain just blank and de-tense it out (and not think about grammar and aesthetics and proper sentences too much)

Anywhoo, I’m on my last leg of my intern and I am really glad and relieved. I don’t know what makes it so tiring? other than that 7K report. Nevertheless, I have honestly enjoyed my company here and I’m sincerely sadden that this might be the last time we will actually meet and enjoy each other’s bants and antics. I’ll truly miss it.

But like he said, “Ah well, that’s life.” People come and go, even if they’re the ones who’ve been the best for you, while sometimes the people who have treated you slightly, they stuck around like an uncomfortable, itching, 3 day old bandage that you can’t open for fear of dealing with something you would rather not.

Sometimes I feel like it is unfair, to have to let go, and you don’t have anyone else around. And you feel horribly, horribly alone with your stammering shame, your blinding insecurities and unflinching anxiety. But then, aren’t we born and aren’t we going to Leave, alone? It is a test of attachment, and while I thought I’ve been doing quite well, apparently I am lying to myself. Social media or not, I am struggling and I am still figuring things out.

But after I figure this report out.

Countdown: T E N  DAYS till I can exhale, take a step forward and move on.

It’s been a hard time
Now you’re gonna see it through

Here’s to the rest of you interns rushing off to prepare your work! Bittaufiq and good luck! x

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2 thoughts on “Attachment Affairs

  1. iweens says:

    Wa’alaikumussalam.
    A 7K report?!!! And to think I had a lot in my hands already, haha! Best of luck on your other report and presentations! I’ve never done an internship – is it something compulsory for you or is this for experience? hehe. Either way, sounds like you’ve enjoyed your time and company there! That ‘bandage’ metaphor though… very on-point.

    And regarding Attachments… so true. I’m starting to reflect on that too. On how we easily get close and then attached to people, sometimes leaning on them so much that it becomes unhealthy for us, especially if it leads to us forgetting… 😦

    But yeah, focus on the report, haha! Let’s strive forward!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nurul Atiqah says:

      Thank you so much!!! I need all the luck I can get tbh XD It’s part of our bachelor programme! basically in our third year we have two sems worth of choosing either Internship, Student Exchange, Community Service and Incubation Project (mostly for Business students).

      So in my case for example, I’m doing my intern and next year I’m doing a Student Exchange Programme (SEP). But it’s totally fine if you want to do two interns for the two semesters, or two SEPs (but you have to fund yourself in the second semester if you’re going abroad).

      And yes I did enjoy my company! But the project? not so much haha! (dont tell my boss that)

      My supervisor did say I have a knack for making weird yet amusingly logical metaphors XD

      I’ve been dealing with attachment issues recently, not only with friends but with family, ambitions and things and just… basically Dunya. 😦 but what I do learn is that you can’t be too hard about it??? It’s okay to have friends and the likes, but there should be balance??? I tried cutting off most of my “social time” especially on social media/meet ups but after 3 months, I can say that it made me feel horrible and empty, and I don’t think it’s about withdrawals???? hahaha omg im not making sense oops im sorry!! like I said I’m still figuring things out and finding the line between having friends or having an attachment to the idea of friends BUT still truly genuinely love them as friends. IDK. I shouldn’t think about this at 8AM in the morning XD

      And yesssss, good luck for your studies as well!! Let’s run towards greatness ❤

      Like

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